@triumph_forks ...If I wanted my hot water ransomed it wouldn't be at the hands of some script-slinging basement-dweller in the Ukraine. o_o

Seriously who thought this was a good idea?

@triumph_forks On one hand: "Monitoring water use"
On the other: FFS that's why most folks have water meters ye daft dickwagons

@masklayer @triumph_forks now I can shit while my shitter DDOS's the site I'm trying to read while on the shitter

@triumph_forks ..........................the toilet is literally the last thing on god's green goddamn earth that i would ever want to connect to the internet and make fucking hackable

@triumph_forks Might as well just email everyone you know "Stay Away! I had to flush the toilet 6 times this morning." Before heading off to work and pretending it didn't happen. But everyone knows, because you connected your damn toilet to WiFi. WTF!

@triumph_forks Meanwhile, you get nonstop ads for plungers, moist flushable wipes, and hemorrhoid cream.

@triumph_forks router shorted out and living room is flooded :(

@triumph_forks this is the worst autoerotic home improvement project ever

Ah yes, public traffic proxies hidden in plain sight

@triumph_forks tried to go toilet but the botnet that my entire bathroom is now part of just DDOSed the door's server and now I can't get in, and even if I could my shower can't do more than a dribble because it's got a bitcoin miner malware


I'd love to discover that my wifi is out or my toilet has reached end of life and I can't flush my toilets or take a shower anymore.

@triumph_forks can't wait for every fucking marketer in the world to know exactly when i shit

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